Funny Quotes
Non of us is virgin, life has screwed us all. I stumbled across this quote while vaguely browsing through Orkut profiles. I was driving hurriedly to the office one day when my eyes ran onto this: When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. (- Henny Youngman). And this one was seen on a T-shirt: I am a virgin (This is my old T-shirt). Quotes, at times can be so much fun. So, I thought why not share with you some funny quotes I’ve collected. This collection of funny quotes is dedicated to laughter, the panacea for all diseases…
When you are courting a nice girl, an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder, a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.
- Albert Einstein (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man there are two..
- Anonymous (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Education: the inculcation of the incomprehensible into the indifferent by the incompetent.
- John Maynard Keynes (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Reasonable men adapt to the world. Unreasonable men adapt the world to themselves. That’s why all progress depends on unreasonable men.
- George Bernard Shaw (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Some cause happiness wherever they go; other whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
A paragraph should be like a lady’s skirt: long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to keep it interesting.
- Anonymous (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Anyone who thinks the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, is aiming ten inches too high.
- Anonymous (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
A woman is like a cup of tea; you’ll never know how strong she is until she boils.
- Anonymous (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Love is blind… but marriage is the real eye-opener.
- Anonymous (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
- Agatha Christie (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.
- Frieda Norris (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off.
- Ralph Bus (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Committee – a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.
- M. Berle (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
- Les Dawson (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want – an adorable pancreas?
- Jean Kerr (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Look how often the unexpected happens – yet we still never expect it.
- Ashleigh Brilliant (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
- Ambrose Bierce (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Tact is the art of making guests feel at home when that’s really where you wish they were.
- George E. Bergman (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
The conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
- Arthur Bloc (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
The making of a journalist: no ideas and the ability to express them.
- Karl Kraus (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
- George Burns (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
- Anonymous (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
- Robert Bloch (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
- Anonymous (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Anonymous (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
- Anonymous (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
- Anonymous (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
In God we trust; all others must pay cash.
- Anonymous (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
He’s so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
- Paddy O’Dea (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.
- Socrates (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
All generalizations are false, including this one.
- Anonymous (eZaroorat – Funny Quotes)
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Gouri is an SEO Content Expert based out of India. He is a commerce graduate and holds an MBA in Marketing. All posts on this blog, unless otherwise mentioned, are written by him.
More interesting quote I found, in list is “A woman is like a cup of tea;”
good collections.
I have one t-shirt in which there is this qoute-”No one dies virgin coz Life ****s us all” I really like this t-shirt. when is saw that first time I just laughed on it. I think it is the truth.lol!!
That are really funny quotes , I love the first one about relativity of Albert Einstein. Keep up the good work .
wow,what a funny joke.nice post
ha ha ha. The beginning was funny.
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